The counter was filled with trays of greasy eggs, bangers, bacon, chips, beans and fried bread but what held our rapt attention was the lady serving. Nothing really extraordinary about her: fat, red-faced, wearing a grubby apron with tiny printed flowers on it, a scarf tied round her dyed-blonde hair, laterally knotted in front. No, what fascinated us kids, ages evenly distributed between twelve and eight, was the cigarette hanging from her ruby lips, with an inch of fag ash quivering on the end, poised to drop onto our runny eggs. She served up our plates, chatted to Dad, wiped her greasy hands down her pinny, totted up the price, saying ‘That‘ll be eight’n’fo’rpence, ducks!’ and returned the change from a ten-bob note, all without that ash dropping. She even sucked on it once, glowing embers lengthening that ash by a further quarter-inch, and still it clung on like a sailor’s new girl facing an ebbing tide. *** The Honiton bypass was a legend in its own lifetime. Steaming cars. I could see from her face how upset she was. “Oh Jim,” she groaned, “how are we going to pay these.” “I am so sorry,” I said, “and started to explain what had happened but Sally was now angry on two counts, at the amount I had ‘wasted’ but more angry that I hadn’t told her. She knew she’d only found out because she found the tickets. “When had you planned to tell me about these?” I started some waffle about finding the right moment but Sally cut me short. “I am going to speak to Alison and Jen about punishing you for wasting our money.” “No, please Sally, I didn’t go out planning to spend…….” Sally interrupted again, “We don’t have £120 spare and your carelessness has cost us that. It was your idea for us to spank each other if we wasted money so I will talk to my sisters and decide how to punish you properly.” I couldn’t argue as I had agreed when Sally suggested that her sisters should help spank me. A couple of hours later, we’d eaten supper and were settling down for an.
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